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Minecraft for Bonding

  • Writer: Lydia (Founder)
    Lydia (Founder)
  • Jul 28
  • 5 min read

Updated: Aug 1

A mother and a son play minecraft on computers next to one another. Image generted by AI
Parents can play Minecraft with their children on Bedrock. Image generated by Chat GPT

1 Tech is a Tool

Tech can be incredibly fun and good for kids when set up correctly and supervised when needed. It can also be equally bad for kids too. Whether it’s good or bad is up to how we use it and I view Minecraft the same way. So instead of asking “is it bad?” we can ask, "can it be used safely in a way that is worthwhile for me?")


I’ve been playing Minecraft for over 15 years now so I have a pretty good understanding of it and can share what I have learned about how to play it safely with kids.


Note: I have not used Minecraft education so I will not discuss it here although it looks useful for older kids (10+).


2 Be Informed

I’m not a believer in the one size fits all approach to household rules so I will not attempt to advise what you should do. It saddens me that “informative” conversations often leave parents feeling fearful and guilty instead of empowered.


The majority of parents are smart enough not to need to be told what to do (I believe). Instead we just need better information to make good decisions for our own families.


Lets talk about the pros and cons of Minecraft first and then Ill share what I do in my own house.


  • The Benefits: 

    • Creativity

    • Problem solving

    • Fine motor skill development

    • Language skills (when playing with others)

    • Team work

    • It can become a magical tool for bonding, creativity, learning, and fun


  • The Costs: 

    • It has multiple game modes so parental supervision is required to keep kids safe (but if you like Minecraft like myself this is more of a benefit!)

    • Using it mindlessly can lead to some not good outcomes. i.e. playing too long, playing in the wrong mode, playing to avoid boredom.

    • It's no surprise that if Minecraft is used mostly as a pacifier (to consume attention for long periods of time) this usually leads to other challenges like grumpiness, poor self-direction, eye strain and your child could see inappropriate content (described in detail under Minecraft 101).

    • Best played on a computer which costs money


3 Minecraft 101

Let’s look at the actual game and its settings without going into detail (easy to do with Minecraft as it’s just a big game).


  • Description:

    • Each game begins in an auto generated world made of blocks

    • You interact with the world by

      • mining and placing blocks

      • finding / crafting items

    • There are Mobs (creatures) which you can tame, farm and ride


  • Modes:

    You can set the mode for each new Game to one of the following:

    • Creative: No limits, just pure building fun. You have unlimited access to every block and item.

    • Survival: Adds falling, health and food bar. Items get used up and need to be collected and crafted. Inappropriate content alert: you can "die" then be respawned which could cause distress


  • Difficulty Level:

    You can set the difficulty level for each new Game to one of the following:

    • Peaceful: only “passive mobs” (animals & villagers) and no health bar / hunger bar = gentler experience

    • Easy / Normal / Hard: “hostile mobs” and health bar / hunger bar. Inappropriate content alert: hostile mobs are essentially monsters and can cause fear / anxiety and distress


  • Versions:

    You can choose to download a version of the Game from the following:

    • Bedrock – it's very easy to add new interesting items to your game or access entire prebuilt worlds in one click through the Marketplace. It also makes joining in a game with your kids super easy.  Inappropriate content alert: some user generated content can be scary (monster skins) so browsing needs supervision!

    • Java – you can customise your game with downloadable “mods” (modifications). This can be trickier and joining games together with kids is also little trickier.


4 How We Use Minecraft at Home

In my house, I always play with m y kids because I enjoy it and it means I can keep them safe at the same time. We play Bedrock on Creative mode (Peaceful), and it works like magic.


  • What I Love Most:

    • Interacting with my kids in the same game

    • Seeing their creativity and imaginative play

    • Building projects together (castles, obstacle courses, mechanical systems)



I've started a Youtube series dedicated to teaching parents how to enjoy playing minecraft with their kids with fun little project tutorials. Click here to check it out


A minecraft clock tower
A clock tower I recently built for the kids in one of our shared games.

  • What I do to keep it Beneficial

    I have the following boundaries around screen time in general which helps keep Minecraft a positive thing:

    • Structure: 1 hour total screen time after school, none after dinner (helps sleep and emotional regulation)

    • Breaks: We break after every 45 mins to dance to a Danny go-go video

    • Timers: I put a timer next to the computer to countdown to breaks and screen time finish so there are no surprises

    • Consequences: if the kids can't quit when the timer goes off or become emotionally dysregulated then we do no screentime the next day - none at all. This means my kids learned to get off without me needing to "push" them much but this doesn’t mean we still don’t struggle sometimes! My son is AuADHD like me so I had to learn to be very consistent even though I'm naturally more relaxed. If I give him a centimetre he takes a mile - hence my strictness is a necessity for us to enjoy screen time.

    • Supervision: I always supervise/play along to make sure the right game mode is chosen and no one is browsing marketplace

    • Balanced Weekends: Time spent on screens is balanced with equal amounts of outdoor play no weekends.

    • Self-reflection: I talk to the kids about the importance of giving our brains and bodies a wide range of activities. We have open conversations about how fun screen time is but I also share when I notice my body responding in negative ways (tired, sore eyes, headache) which means I have far stayed too long. I explain how I feel so much better when I listen to my body and give it time outdoors, or playing in other ways (drawing, games, building blocks, school work).

 

5 Connection - Why I play games with my Kids

Sharing my children's interests is another way for me to communicate to them that I care about them and am interested in them. No matter what age your kids are, if you can experimentally adopt one of their interests, do it just to see if it helps deepen your bond (it will).


I get so much good bonding time with my kids through joining in some of their games. By the way, I also do this with movies (I watch every movie with them to bond over the movie and also so I can talk about any strange or sad bits that might come up).


 

6 Final Thoughts

Minecraft can be an incredible tool for parents to bond and learn together. However, it can also do more harm than good if it's unstructured or kids are left to play without healthy restrictions.


By thinking about tech in general a little differently we can become more effective as parents. Here's how

  • Practice mindful use vs mindless use

  • Pursue connection over control

  • Value curiosity over fear

  • Adopt empowerment over guilt


You don’t have to do it perfectly. Just be present, ask questions, and be curious. That alone makes all the difference.



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